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Hot Raktajino. K’plagh.

December 19, 2016

Taking a break from my otherwise exciting Sunday of doing not a fuckin thing. Fed dogs. Fed cats. Fed my own face. Went to the gas station. Smoked a bowl. Sitting in my rolly-chair, watching Voyager on Netflix, I noticed that Jeri Ryan looks good in a 50s style hairdo, even with her Borg implants. …So why don’t we have replicators yet? I could pound down a nice hot Raktajino. Also, when you run out of pot, you could just replicate some more, how about a quarter pound of Durban Poison? I wonder if replicated pot tastes any different than naturally grown? And is the buzz any better? Or worse? Or the same?

Notice that you never see anybody on Star Trek smoking. Anything. No cowboy-killers in space. Now I know that all these races have something indigenous to their homeworlds that they smoke. It only stands to reason. So why don’t we ever see it? We see the Grand Nagus snorting beetle snuff. Why don’t we see Dukat snorting some Cardassian flake? Why don’t we see any junkies, or even drunks? The Enterprise D has Ten Forward, but you never see Ensign Noname shaking for a drink. DS9 has Quark’s, but where are all the drunks? You know, the ones who wait outside for the bar to open in the morning, every bar has some. But the only regular you see at Quarks is Morn. And you never see him falling-down drunk. Occasionally you might see a drunk Klingon, but nobody that stays drunk all the time. What, is life so fuckin peachy in space that people don’t even bother to get fucked up? Whatever happened to art imitating life?

In real life there are plenty of motherfuckers that get fucked up and stay fucked up every day. Workday’s done, go to bar. Wife nagging, go to bar. Kids screaming, go to bar. Let the door bang behind you and shut out the rest of the rat race. Get polluted, shoot some pool, yell at the television, sing along with the jukebox, get in fights, fall down, wreck some vehicles, go to jail, you know, regular shit that regular people do. Trust me, I did it for 25 years or so. If you ever get busted for a DUI and get sent to highway safety classes, you’ll see a whole roomful of other drunks, (though a lot of them wouldn’t cop to it) and there are a hundred or so classes like that in every county in every state, so you know there are a lot of drunks. …But not on Star Trek.

I’ve been smoking pot ever since I was a kid, round about 5th or 6th grade, all my life, and I’m 51 years old. Millions of Americans smoke pot on a daily basis, and millions more smoke tobacco. …But not on Star Trek.  Hmmm….

Ok. There’s something to ponder. Back to Jeri Ryan in a spandex bodysuit, er, I mean Voyager.

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